Comfort?

Or a choke hold?

Difficult to say which...

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He, We

Friday marks the fifth anniversary of this impossibly beautiful thing called marriage that my husband and I embarked upon after nearly 8 years together.

It wasn't what you'd call romantic. After having spent weeks assembling the paperwork, we drove down to the local district office, where, in front of an unsmiling Thai bureaucrat, we glanced at each other and said, "Yeah, let's go" before signing the paper that made our union legal. I was wearing khaki trousers and a t-shirt. He was in shorts and flip-flops. We forgot to take a picture.

It wasn't romantic, but it was, how you'd say, "us". Clean and simple. Like his favorite kind of architecture. Like my favorite style of writing.

I fancied him at first sight; his look of quiet confidence and dazzling smile, the slightly dangerous rip in his jeans. He wanted nothing to do with me.

If it weren't for my super-outgoing friend Leah, we might have never came to be. She, upon hearing that I was interested, dragged me along to ambush him in the common area of the dorm we were staying at. I'll never forget the look of pure fear that flashed in his eyes as we invaded his quiet little table, plonked down and started chatting about who knows what.

I guess it worked because I believe it was at that point that a spark came to life.

Yep, it's true. I scared him into liking me.

Now with jobs, two kids, a home, two cats and a suicidal dog to look after, those endless days exploring the sights of Bangkok and beyond are long gone. Conversations get tangled up with business/money, bickering over the kids and the all little things that we drive each other mad with.

What I've learned is that loving is easy but living with the person you love, day in and day out, can be damn hard. Damn. Hard.

What I've learned is that my 13-year social experiment, the one in which I moan and beg and nag and rag, has failed to move him towards my desired direction one iota. That you can set up an entire key-loss-prevention infrastructure, for example (hooks at the door! big keychains! post-it notes! reminders reminders reminders!), and still, on a weekly basis, go through the Where-did-you-put-the-damn-car-keys-this-time song and dance routine as we struggle to get out the door.

We have a great dynamic, he and I. He's the Smiling Buddha rock. I'm the flailing stress-freak from hell.

He drives me nuts.

I love him so much.

"So, um, did you remember the keys, honey?" "Honey?"

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I'm ranked. Or some might say just plain rank.

Colleague and blogger extraordinaire The Lost Boy has worked hard to compile a blog rank for Thailand based blogs. And it turns out that mine is up in the top 100.

I'm...(drumroll please)...69!

Some people I know (yes you!) would find this number quite amusing. Because most people I know have their minds permanently stuck in the gutter. That's why we're friends, you see.

Anyway, kudos to M for his efforts in recognizing and highlighting the best of Thaiblogging. If you're looking for a peek into the TOTAL WEIRDNESS OF LIFE here in the Land of Smiles, this list is a good place to start.

And, to all you linkers out there (you know who you are) please note that I've packed up and moved over to a new URL: http://serratededges.com (used to be saneroad.blogspot.com)

Please be kind and update your links and maybe someday my ranking will break the 3 million mark! (Not that I care, of course, because you know I'm above all that nonsense...oh, who am I kidding?...)

Anyway, here's the list: Thailand's Top 100.

Enjoy!

Update (Apr 28).

Right, so I didn't realize this before but the ranking is a dynamic thing that changes as people vote for their favorites, and I've moved down. So I'm the Hillary Clinton of Thai blogging. Ha ha!

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Tough ol' bitch

My dog Mee got run over today by a truck.

I saw it happen.

I feel immense guilt that I didn't do more to prevent it from happening.

My husband, daughter and I were having lunch at a little roadside hut across the road from our house, like we often do on Saturdays. My dog, the community dog, tagged along since the nice cook lady always gives her scraps and bones.

We don't do the leash thing here as there are no laws about it and everyone knows her so I'm never worried about her getting into trouble. She's been on the loose in the 'hood for years and years.

She was sitting by our table when suddenly she jumped up and began trotting across the road towards a dog that was hanging out by the phone box. As she was crossing the road I was thinking, "Ooh that's not good..." when the truck smacked into her.

She was knocked down and her hind leg got caught under the truck's front wheel as it screeched to a stop.

She hobbled off as fast as her three working legs could take her back towards our house. We rushed out of the restaurant, loaded her up into the pickup and took her to the vet, who is thankfully just a mile or so away.

Amazingly, no broken bones, and only a small skin puncture that will be stitched up tomorrow after the swelling goes down.

Anyway, lesson learned. No more restaurant outings for the dog. She'll cry and whine to be locked in the yard, but I can't risk that happening again.

Poor thing!

Update Apr 27. The Girl's Alright

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Black widow of journalism

I've been going over some of the articles I've written for various magazines and newspapers over the years and realize that three out of the dozen or so middle-aged Caucasian men I've interviewed have met untimely deaths within a year of my meeting them (drowning, heart attack, skin cancer).

Coincidence?

I hope so...

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Trolling

Anyone know of some good blogs/mags/websites that are funny and/or inspirational and well written?

Just looking to expand my horizons.

Please leave me a comment or send me an email.

Thanks!

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The land of happy

Have I mentioned that I love Thailand?

Oh, I bitch and moan about a lot of things here but really I can't imagine living anywhere else on earth.

It's the warmth that gets me.

Not the heat, the stifling steamy heat of the tropics - that takes some getting used to, and I'm hoping that in another year or so maybe I'll feel comfortable in it.

No, it's the genuine warmth and tolerance of many of the people here that make it a hard place to forget - a hard place to leave.

Just today, for instance, I went out to eat , alone with my daughter, and within three seconds of arrival a waitress took it upon herself to be the best friend and entertainer of my baby girl, for the entire meal. They played hide and seek around the tables; they ran around in circles; the waitress carried her all around the restaurant, introducing her to everyone and showing her all the interesting stuff.

A few tables away, a European man was talking loudly on his cellphone for a good 20 minutes, having some sort of business dispute that apparently had to be resolved right then. All the while his companion - a gorgeous, elegant, young Thai lady - sat at his side.

No traces of annoyance or impatience were on her face. When he finally finished talking she looked at him with nothing but affection, and began to eat her meal (she didn't eat while he spoke - I suppose because it's considered impolite to start to eat your meal before your dining companions are ready to eat).

Contrary to popular belief, people (particularly women) are not that passive here. I don't believe it was passivity or subservience that made the lady sit so sweetly at the table - there really is a high tolerance of what in other countries would be considered extremely rude behaviour.

As a foreigner, so long as you're not insulting the royal family or the Buddha, it truly is a "live and let live" mentality here.

It's just too bad that the Thais high level of tolerance is sometimes not rewarded with politeness or respect in return.

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Rose-tinted lens

Got myself a new camera.

It's pink. It's pretty.

It's a Sony Cyber-shot 8.1-megapixel-any-idiot-can-use beauty.

Still getting the hang of it but had some fun snapping things in my yard this afternoon.

Betel nut tree

Papaya!

Betel nut palm & avocado trees

Bird of paradise (I think!)

Jungle girl

Big-ass leaf - forgotten plant name

Buddies

F-off I'm trying to relax!

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Flushed

In case anyone's been trying to call...

I dropped my mobile phone yesterday.

Into the toilet.

Cleverly tucked the phone into the back pocket of my pants.

Promptly forgot about it.

Went to do some business at the toilet, dropped my pants and heard the SPLOSHHH.

Looked down and saw it lying pitifully on the toilet bowl base, bubbles coming out of it.

Retrieved it, tried to turn it off, but no buttons were functional. Held it in my hand as it heated up, fogged up, and died.

Bummer.

Took it into the repair man and it seems to be fixed now, but not sure if it'll ever recover to its former ringing glory.

Yes, this was the most exciting event of my weekend.

That, and the migrane.

Oh, and teaching my littlest to say, NO PROBLEM!"

Woo hoo!!

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At present

*Now updated with video evidence! See bottom...
**Update update (Apr 18): killed the video. Couldn't get it to work. Oh well. Anyway, after reading this story, maybe it's not such a good idea to post baby stuff on YouTube...

It's a Friday afternoon. I'm not working today because my mother-in-law, my daughter's caretaker, has gone back to her home province for the Songkran (Thai new year) holiday. She's taken my boy, who will get to meet his sole-surviving Thai great-grandmother for the first time.

I'm sweating.

The sky is soupy thick with clouds, which might burst into a monsoon storm at any moment or hang heavy for the rest of the afternoon, keeping the air steamy, sticky.

Across the road I hear the chanting of monks, who are here to bless the annual village song and dance show. Five minutes ago through the same microphones Madonna's "Like a Virgin" blasted three times in succession. Bet she never thought she'd be the sound check for bald men in saffron robes growling out an ancient Pali chant on a muggy afternoon in Thailand.

Ten minutes ago a bird flew into the house, waking up my two cats who were sleeping upstairs who promptly cornered the unfortunate creature into my office. She emitted a horrible screech as she was grabbed by the neck and carried outside to places unknown. I didn't follow; let nature run its course on its own, I figure.

My daughter's playing with a coaster from the coffee table. She's easy to entertain.

My plans for the afternoon are....well I have no plans. I fear I'm becoming one of these people who don't know what to do with themselves when not working. Maybe I should take up golf.

One of my favourite pastimes is to make my children do silly things. Like today, for instance, I taught my daughter to say, "Hello Stinky." (And she says it really cutely, like "Allo deek deek!" with her enormous smile and a giggle.)

Yeah, I'm kinda evil that way.

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Shame

54 Burmese dead in a fish truck

It's shocking some of the things that happen here, just beyond my doorstep.

It's hard to imagine the life one must have had to endure, to have ended up packed literally like sardines in a dark journey on the road to a dead-end gig. What little hope they might have had for a future - snuffed.

My cynicism weighs so heavily -- reading this I know that the culprits will never get caught or punished; that the Thai government will make a few hollow promises about protecting the weak and the poor and do nothing; and that hundreds and thousands of people will continue coming here to live in appalling conditions, building up the hotels and villas that house the rich and unaware.

I'm not sure what it will take to make a change here -- to halt the snatch and grab and pillage mentality that afflicts so many of those here with the power to change things -- but, sadly, I'm afraid that the deaths of 37 women and 17 men in a stinking, airless truck won't be it.

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Things to jot down before I forget

Some Justinisms from the past few days...

Nature observations:

"The sky's too high!" (Standing outside, looking up)

"Ha ha! That's quite a funny one!" (Also while standing outside, said each time a gust of wind came up)

"Oooohh that's quite nice." (About my tongue, which he asked me to stick out for him)


Questions that remain unanswered:

"Why is the sky too high?"

"Do you like stinky?"

"What are boy boobs used for?"

"If I fell down and cracked my head would yoke come out?"

"What's a horny boy?" (Asked while listening to a Sharon, Lois and Bram song about a "Pony Boy")

"So I was like a seed, and then I grew bigger and bigger and bigger, and then I grew so big that I popped out of your stomach? And Lida was a seed too and popped out too right? Is that right? Is that right, Mom? Is that right is that right is that right?"

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