Bill Gates, check your inbox

So, apparently Bill Gates gets 4 million emails a day. All right, so he’s the world’s richest man running the most massive software company on the planet. I guess he’s a popular guy.

It seems, however, that a lot of his emails are spam, so he’s working on a way to protect against that. Well, what a relief! Because, you see, I have an email for him all ready to go, but now I know it’s best to wait till he figures out a way to stop all the spam. Then, he’ll be able to find my completely legitimate email without having to wade through all the crap.

Meantime, I’m not sure if Bill’s a blog hopper, but just in case I’d better post it here in the hope that he’ll see it….

-----------------------
To: Bill Gates, Microsoft Corporation
From: Lana
Subject: hey bill

Dear Mr Gates,

Is it ok if i call you Bill? Cool, thanks.

Bill, you don’t know me and are unlikely to meet me in passing, which is why I’m writing to you today. You see Bill, I have a proposal to make to you. Now I know you’re probably getting these all the time but if you could just hear me out I’m sure you’ll see that this is something worth considering.

I admire you a lot bill, and all that you’ve done for the planet. Your software just whirrs along swimmingly, enabling me to do really cool things like bolding, italicizing and ALL CAPS really super easily. Ok, it’s possible that I may have used some pirated versions of your stuff, but I always did it with a strong sense of guilt, and a real appreciation for just how rad all your inventions are. I don’t even mind the little bug in my Word program that keeps reverting the language setting to “English (US)” when all my writing needs to be done in “English (UK)” style. Hey, we all have our little quirks eh?

Bill, you had an idea when you were young and you ran with it and look at you now. I admire that a lot. Someone gave you a break, a chance, and let you fly, fly, fly! to an unimagined stratosphere in computing world domination. So that’s why I’m sure you’ll be sympathetic to my request.

Bill, I’d like you to give me $10,000. Now for you that’s just a raindrop in a vast sea of money, but for me it would really mean a lot. You see, I’ve got ideas too, bill. A lot of ideas. Ok, they’re all kinda vague right at this moment, but with the right amount of funding and support, these ideas will soon turn into real, tangible things. Useful things. Things that I’m sure will make the world a better place, just like the things you and your company have created. With your help, I see no more closed doors in my future, only Windows – wide open Windows!

See, I’m a believer just like you bill. I understand that the little guy, the nerdy guy, the guy who picked his nose in class, he’s the guy who will one day rule the universe. And so you are. Now’s your chance to make that dream come true for all those other guys and gals who are willing to step “outside the box”. I’m that gal, bill. I can make shit happen. Just give me the cash and watch me soar!

I await your response with great expectation and hope. You’re the man, bill. You’re the man.

All the best,
Lana